Attachment

Title

Author

Comments

The Attachment Therapy Companion: Key Practices for Treating Children & Families

Becker Weidmann, Arthur, et al.

Author has multiple books that are helpful

Addiction as an Attachment Disorder

Flores, Phillip J.

Becoming Attached

Karen, Robert

Once They Hear My Name: Korean Adoptees Search for Identity

Lammert, Marilyn &

Hess, Mary Anne

Edited book of nine real stories, based on interviews, of adult Korean adoptees. GWSCSW member Marilyn Lammert is one of the editors. Tapestry Books has other books about adoption

Brief Dynamic Therapy

Levenson, Hanna

Concise, great outline for using EFT interventions in an individual therapy setting, attachment-focused EFT (as opposed to Greenberg's individual EFT)

Attachment Theory and Research in Clinical Work with Adults

Obegi, Joseph H. & Berant, Ety, (Eds.)

Sue’s chapter on individual EFT is terrific and has a great transcript of an individual EFT session

Coming Home to Self

Verrier, Nancy

Blended Families

Title

Author

Comments

http://www.familylife.com/
articles/topics/blended-family

Love in the Blended Family: Stepfamilies: A Package Deal

Clubb, Angela

Step Families

Connolly, Joy

The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family

Deal, Ron L

Author’s website also includes materials on blending families from Christian perspective

http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/

StepWars: Overcoming the Perils and Making Peace in Adult Stepfamilies

Grace, Gabe & Lipman-Blumen, Jean

Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way They Do

Martin, Wednesday

Boundaries, Revised and Revisited

Mellody, Pia

From “The Meadows;” fun to listen to

Surviving and Thriving in Step Family Relationships: What Works and What Doesnt

Papernow, Patricia

www.stepfamilies.info

The National Stepfamily Resource Center

Great place to find out about recent studies, programs, etc

How to Win as a Stepfamily

Visher, Emiy &

Visher, John

Wisdom on Step-Parenting: How to Succeed Where Others Fail

Weiss-Wisdom, Diana

Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family

Wisdom, Susan &

Green, Jennifer

Boundaries

Title

Author

Comments

Boundary Issues: Using Boundary Intelligence to Get the Intimacy You Want and the Independence You Need in Life, Love, and Work 

Adams, Jane

Nuanced discussion of the spectrum of boundaries; includes exercises

Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome

Braiker, Harriet B.

Children of the Self-Absorbed

Brown, Nina

Boundaries When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life 

Cloud, Henry & Townsend, John

Christian perspective with many biblical references; audio version is good

Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding

Cloud, Henry & Townsend, John

Emotional Blackmail

Forward, Susan

Too Close for Comfort?: Questioning the New Intimacy of Today's Mother Daughter Relationship

Gordon, Linda Perlman & Shaffer, Susan

Discusses healthy boundaries for both mother and daughter

Boundaries: Where you end and I begin

Katherine, Anne

Good for most reading levels

Where to Draw the Line”

Katherine, Anne

Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up 

Lerner, Harriet

family systems perspective, discussing assertive communication, boundaries, relationship responsibilities

Making Contact 

Satir, Virginia

Classic text

Your Many Faces:  The First Step to Being Loved

Satir, Virginia

When I Say No I Feel Guilty 

Smith, Manual J.

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Enjoying and Protecting the Self

Whitfield, Charles

Boundaries: Revised and Revisited Mellody, Pia

CD – includes info re sexual boundaries

Co-Dependency

Title

Author

Comments

Codependent No More

Beattie, Melody

Classic text,  includes focus on developing life skills

Beyond Codependency

Beattie, Melody

Appropriate for ACOAs (Adult Children of Alcoholics)

Struggle for Intimacy

Geringer Woititz, Janet

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When-and Why- Love Doesn’t Work

Halpern, Howard

Includes case studies; helpful for those struggling to leave unhealthy/abusive relationships

Conquering Shame & Codependency, 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

Lancer, Darlene

Codependency for Dummies

Lancer, Darlene

Communication skills

Title

Author

Comments

www.pndc.com

Non-defensive communication

Boundary Issues: Using Boundary Intelligence to Get the Intimacy You Want and the Independence You Need in Life, Love, and Work 

Adams, Jane

Nuanced discussion of the spectrum of boundaries; includes exercises

Listening: the Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guide

Burley-Allen, Madelyn

A Couples Guide to Communication

Gottman, John

Getting The Love You Want

Hendrix, Harville

Describes potential for intimacy and healing inherent in conflict and describes the Imago dialogue process, which is a very useful tool for helping couples stay connected and communicate clearly

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Johnson, Susan

Couple Skills

McKay, Matthew et al.

"Clean Communication" chapter is particularly helpful for couples

Messages: The Communication Skills Book

McKay, Matthew et al.

Making Contact  

Satir, Virginia 

Your Many Faces 

Satir, Virginia  

Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social EffectivenessGarner, Alan  

Couples Therapy

Title

Author

Comments

Transforming the Legacy: Couple Therapy with Survivors of Childhood Trauma

Basham, Kathryn

For clinician

Getting The Love You Want

Hendrix, Harville

Describes potential for intimacy and healing inherent in conflict and describes the Imago dialogue process, which is a very useful tool for helping couples stay connected and communicate clearly

Interventions for Children of Divorce: Custody, Access, and Psychotherapy

Hodges, William & Weiner, Irving

For clinician, theoretical context

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Johnson, Susan

For clinician or clients

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash

Dreyfus, Nancy

Initially for couples, but also extremely effective for parents and kids- interactive tool that uses written messages to show how connecting to vulnerability can interrupt defensiveness and get two combative people starting to like each other again

Crisis in Marriage/relationship

Title

Author

Comments

Post Romantic Stress Disorder: What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over

Bradshaw, John

Uses scientific research and case studies to help reader understand the stages of love and provides exercises to deepen the relationship

The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage

Davis, Michelle Weiner

Easy-to-read, solution-oriented to build stronger relationship bonds

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash

Dreyfus, Nancy

Interactive tool that uses written messages to show how connecting to vulnerability can interrupt defensiveness and get two combative people starting to like each other again

Too Good to Leave Too Good to Stay:  A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

Kirshenbaum, Mira

Excellent reviews

Should I stay or Go?  How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage

Raffel, Lee

Addresses separation with the goal of helping couples structure a time apart while they decide whether to continue their marriage

Divorce, Marital separation & Breakup

Title

Author

Comments

The Good Divorce

Ahrons, Constance

Provides guidance through anecdotes of couples’ coping strategies

Divorce: The Real Truth and Hidden Dangers 

Bradley, Ann

Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends 

Fisher, Bruce 

Has accompanying workbook; differentiates processes for Dumper/Dumpee, but remains applicable for the mutually ended relationship

Between Love and Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce

Gold, Lois

Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One

Gray, John

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When-and Why- Love Doesn’t Work

Halpern, Howard

Includes case studies; helpful for those struggling to leave unhealthy/abusive relationships

Creative Divorce: A New Opportunity for Personal Growth

Krantzler, Mel

Addresses how divorce can be a catalyst for positive transformations

Poems for Surviving:  Breakup, Abuse and Divorce 

Martin, Marlena

How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell (And Dance Together at Your Daughter's Wedding)

Talia, Sue

Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life

Trafford, Abigail

Anecdotal, helps to normalize roller-coaster emotions associated with the end of a relationship; both parties find it helpful

Uncoupling

Vaughan, Diane

Divorce/Parental Separation: Children & Parenting

Title

Author

Comments

http://singleparents.about.com
/od/datingadvice/a/introducekid
s_2.htm

Article for parents regarding how to speak with kids about parents' dating

The Good Divorce

Ahrons, Connie

Provides a roadmap (based on research) for a constructive approach to co-parenting

We're Still Family: What Grown Children Have to Say About Their Parent's Divorce

Ahrons, Constance

Guidance for maintaining family bonds through divorce, research data for support.

Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce

Blakeslee, Sandra & Wallerstein, Judith

Explores the impact of divorce on adults and children

When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Adult Child Don’t Get Along

Coleman, Joshua

Written from the alienated parent's perspective

Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children from Parental Alienation

Darnell, Douglas

Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children while Avoiding High Conflict Divorce

Eddy,Bill

For parents; includes questionnaires to help them evaluate what alienating behaviors they are engaging in

The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions so You and Your Children Can Thrive

Emery, Robert

The Parental Alienation Syndrome and the Differentiation Between Fabricated and Genuine Child Sexual Abuse

Gardner, Richard

Caught in the Middle: Protecting the Children of High-Conflict Divorce

Garrity, Carla & Baris, Mitchell

Addresses co-parenting in high-conflict situations

Healing Hearts: Helping Children and Adults Recover From Divorce

Hickey, Elizabeth & Dalton, Elizabeth

Interventions for Children of Divorce: Custody, Access, and Psychotherapy

Hodges, William & Weiner, Irving

For clinician, theoretical context

Getting Apart Together: The Couple’s Guide to a Fair Divorce or Separation

Kranitz, Martin A.

The Children's Book….For the Sake of the Children: A Communication Workbook for Separate Parenting after Divorce

McKnight, Ericks

Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

Neuman, M. Gary & Romanowski, Patricia

Developmentally based by chapter, including possible reactions, as well as ideas about how to help a child deal with feelings

How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell: And Dance Together at Your Daughter's Wedding

Talia, Sue

Educates reader regarding common pitfalls and provides useful solutions

Helping Children Cope With Divorce

Teyber, Edward

Parents Are Forever: A Step-By-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents After Divorce

Thomas, Shirley

Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce

Wallerstein, Judith & Kelly, Joan B.

Addresses the short- and long-term effects of family dissolution

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study

Wallerstein, Judith, et. al.

Addresses common feelings and experiences children of divorce

What About the Kids?: Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

Wallerstein, Judy

What to Tell the Kids About Your Divorce

Weyburne, Darlene

Why Did You Have To Get a Divorce? And When Can I Get a Hamster?: A Guide to Parenting Through Divorce

Wolf, Anthony

Wisdom for Separated Parents: Rearranging Around the Children to Keep Kinship Strong Osborne, Judy  

Divorce/Parental Separation: children's books

Title

Author

Comments

How Does It Feel When Your Parents Get Divorced

Berger, Terry

It's Not the End of the World

Blume, Judy & Schermer, Judith

Dinosaur's Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families

Brown, Marc & Brown, Laurie Krasny

Ages 4-8 y/o, answers questions and concerns for children regarding divorce

How It Feels When Parents

Divorce Krementz, Jill

Blowfish Live In the Sea

Fox, Paula

Two Homes to Live In

Hazen, Barbara Shook

The Invisible String

Karst, Patrice & Stevenson, Geoff 

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce

Lansky, Vicki

Ages 3 -7 y/o, normalizes feelings, provides talking points to parents

Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids About Divorce

Levins, Sandra & Langdo, Bryan

Totally Uncool

Levy, Janice &

Monroe, Chris

Me Day

Lexau, Joan &

Weaver, Robert

Kid's Divorce Kit

Magid, Ken & Schreibman, Walt

Two Homes

Masurel, Claire & Denton, Kady MacDonald

Ages 1-5 y/o, Focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce

Saturday is Pattyday

Newman, Leslea

About 2 moms divorcing

The Family Book

Parr, Todd

Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two

Ricci, Isolina

For children, practical tips and insight into managing change

The Kids' Book of Divorce

Rofes, Eric

Stepdog

Shyer, Marlene

We're Having a Tuesday

Simoneau, DK & Cornelius, Brad

Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce

Spelman, Cornelia Maude & Parkinson, Kathy 

The Family That Changed: A Child's Book About Divorce

Spilke, Francine

infidelity/affairs

Title

Author

Comments

Reconnecting Emotionally and Physically After an Affair

Schnell, Staci Lee

intimacy

Title

Author

Comments

Children of the Self-Absorbed

Brown, Nina

The Betrayal Bond

Carnes, Patrick

Intimacy and Solitude

Dowrick, Stephanie

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash

Dreyfus, Nancy

Interactive tool that uses written messages to show how connecting to vulnerability can interrupt defensiveness and get two combative people starting to like each other again

How to Stay Together Whether You Want To or Not

Gadhia-Smith, Anita

Extraordinary Relationships

Gilbert, Roberta

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers

Gottman, John & DeClaire, Joan

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Johnson, Susan

The Dance of Intimacy 

Lerner, Harriet

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

McBride, Karyl

Wired for Love

Tatkin, Stan

Author’s blog and audio series also helpful

Love & War in Intimate Relationships 

Tatkin, Stan

The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults 

Woititz, Janet G.

lying

Title

Author

Comments

Tell Me No Lies: How to stop Lying to Your Partner and Yourself in the Four Stages of Marriage

Bader, Ellyn & Pearson, Peter

New Couples & Relationship Strengthening

Title

Author

Comments

Prepare/Enrich.com

Prepare to Last 

DVD workshop format

The Making of Love

Biddulph, Steve

Marriage: An Everyday Sacrament

Brennan, D. & Gagen, P.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Chapman, Gary

Christian perspective, but not overwhelming for most non-religious clients

Step Families

Connolly, Joy

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: How You Can Make Yours Last

Gottman, John

The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy

Gottman, John

A Couples Guide to Communication

Gottman, John

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Gottman, John M. & Silver, Nan

Practical Guide with
exercises

Keeping The Love You Find

Hendrix, Harville

Getting The Love You Want

Hendrix, Harville

Describes potential for intimacy and healing inherent in conflict and describes the Imago dialogue process, which is a very useful tool for helping couples stay connected and communicate clearly

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Johnson, Susan

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Attachment Theory lens- great exercises
for couples 

Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up 

Lerner, Harriet

Family systems perspective, discussing assertive communication, boundaries, relationship responsibilities

The Dance of Intimacy

Lerner,Harriet

Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Love, Pat & Stosny, Steve

The Truth about Love

Love, Patricia

Hot Monogamy: How To Achieve A More Intimate Relationship With Your Partner

Love, Patricia & Robinson, Jo

12 Hours to A Great Marriage: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making Love Last

Markman, H. et al.

Living & Loving Together: How to Make Your Personal Relationships More Fulfilling

Montgomery, Bob & Evans, Lynette

Really Relating: How to Build an Enduring Relationship

Newman, Margaret, et al.

Empowering Couples: Building on Your Strengths

Olson, David H. & Olson, Amy K.

Building Relationships for Life

Olson, David H. &

Olson, Amy K.

Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships

Schnarch, D.

Intimacy and Desire

Schnarch, David

Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy

Solomon, Marion F. & Tatkin Stan

Includes references to Mindfulness, Dan Siegel, John Gottman, EFT, Imago Therapy

1000 Questions for Couples: Things You Should Know about Your Mate

Spooner, Tim

www.questionsforcouples.com Recommend couples read it together and talk about their answers to these questions and responses to their partners questions in session. Wonderful book for stimulating thoughts, feelings, curiosity and addressing values, attitudes, life goals, conflicts, potential and present

Wired for Love 

Tatkin, Stan

Current research on neuroscience

The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier and Better Off

Waite, Linda &

Gallagher, Maggie

The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts

Wallerstein, Judith & Blakeslee, Sandra

Identifies characteristics of enduring relationships

The Intimacy Struggle: Revised and Expanded for All Adults 

Woititz, Janet G. 


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